Don't worry, he won't eat the kitty.

ONLINE QUIZ!
**Which English Monarch are YOU?**

1. Your significant other is unable to produce a viable male heir for your family-owned oscillating fan manufacturing business. You:
a) Spend all your time in the local sanctuary and ignore the pending Norman storm
b) CHOP OFF HER HEAD and take down the Pope while you're at it
c) Defeat the Spanish Armada
d) Oscillating fans Schmoscillating schmans! You run off with your secret male lover, ignoring your temperamental French wife.

2. You ordered your man servant to give you veal and peas for dinner, but he misunderstood you and instead you got Fruit Roll-Ups and Cheerios. You:
a) Sit around wondering what it was your father was "unready" for
b) CHOP OFF HIS HEAD and eat the food anyway, you fat pig.
c) Execute your cousin, who was clearly responsible...damn Catholics.
d) Oh Piers! Run away with me, Piers!

If you answered:
a) You're Edward the Confessor! Now run off and promise the English throne to a Norman bastard, leading to the downfall of Anglo-Saxon civilization as we know it!
b) You're Henry VIII! Nobody cares about you anymore because you were a primogeniture-loving, wife-killing, daughter-shunning, fatty fat fat butthead. Go cry.
c) You're Elizabeth I! The good news, you become one of the most well-loved and respected Monarchs in English history. The bad news: You die a virgin.
d) You're Edward II! You batted for the other team, which totally pissed off your wife, and if you want to know how you died...well, you'll just have to Wikipedia it.